Saturday, July 02, 2005

Moonbatting Necessities

For a Fun-Filled 4th of July as a Freeway Blogger:

According to the Freeway Blogger, the image above shows the supplies you will need to celebrate the Summer of Truth, beginning on the 4th of July 2005. This moonbatting site is recommended by Denver criminal defense attorney Jeralyn Merritt, at her blog, TalkLeft: The Politics of Crime. The Freeway Blogger (with Neddy's commentary) advises readers that:
"a single sign (such as this one) put near a freeway can be seen by tens of thousands of motorists ... and can be made in ten minutes at a cost of about five cents.

"Placement Strategies:" (Be a Dare-devil - if it is dangerous to put up, highway workers will be too damned scared to take it down!)

"Don't limit yourself to overpasses: Anything you can see while driving is a place you can post a sign and it will be seen. Trees," (nails won't hurt them ... too much) "fencing, sign backs and infrastructure" (if it collapses, not to worry, just find a studier one to pound into), "everything is fair game." (Stop signs, whatever.) "The more difficult your sign is to get to, the longer it'll stay up. With duct tape, bungee cords, hammer and nails, binder clips and spring clamps, you can attach a sign securely to just about anything within seconds." (The nails serve dual purposes as they can also be thrown in front of the cars that give you the middle finger salute.)

"Always approach a site from the backside, off the freeway (lest you be taken for the Duct Tape Strangler). Wear an orange safety vest and people will assume you're a highway worker: at 60 mph people putting up signs look just like people taking them down." (This invaluable technique has already been proven by terrorists who have found much success in camoflaging themselves to be ordinary citizens.)

Sign painting parties will be held across the country over the July 4th weekend with posting to begin on the 5th. (You must have proof of valid medical insurance, as freeways can be dangerous places when on foot. Likewise, your bail-bonding agency must be notified that you may require its services.)
Comrades in the Freeway Blogger movement, following in the tradition of Karl Marx and Freidrich Engels, must always comply with the Freeway Blogger Manifesto. Then you are to follow these very simple (minded) steps:

1) Find Cardboard.

2) Paint it White. (Obviously only Behr paint will do.)

3) Paint your message. (If you know how to spell; otherwise, use internationally recognized symbols. Use the same white paint as in Step 2.)

4) Stick it Up - with duct tape and bungee cord: takes 10 seconds. (The bungee cord also is useful when falling off bridges and freeway overpasses.)

I have not as yet determined just out how the rabbits fit into Freeway Blogger's "Summer of Truth" scheme. Does anyone know?

Trackedback at Wizbang's Carnival of the Trackbacks, Mudville Gazette, basil's blog Brunch 7/3/2005 and Dr. Sanity. Also at Bad Example as a VERY bad example of "How To Keep Your Boys Busy".
What Is a Moonbat?

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