Ban the Koran!

From Courthouses - Save Muslim Lives.
The ACLU and CAIR are in a legal battle demanding that the Koran be placed in courthouses in North Carolina. Currently the law allows people to swear oaths upon the Bible, or to solemnly affirm. People may also swear "so help me God" without the use of a Bible. Of course Korans in the courtroom is a lunatic idea, but no more than the United States Army at Guantanamo Bay providing Korans for the detainees there, and creating a special “Code of Conduct” that American soldiers must follow in order to "respect the dignity of the Koran". It’s fine to pass around the Christian Bible, stuff it in a duffle bag, even drop it on the floor, but handling the Koran required the writing of an official order, Section 6-5-c(3) of "Detention Operations Group Standard Operating Procedures" for Gitmo.

Well at least, the thousands of courthouses throughout the great land of America will have an example to follow when the boxes of Korans arrive. The U.S. Army’s standard operating procedure is: "Handle the Koran as if it were a fragile piece of delicate art." If courts take their cue from our military, they will have to begin with having only Muslims unpack the boxes of holy books. Whenever a Koran is brought into the courtroom to be sworn upon, it can only be carried by a Muslim. Even picked up, or moved, requires a Muslim. May heaven help the cleaning crew who doesn't know the rules! Many new careers will be opening up at American courthouses; however only Muslims need apply.

In an emergency, if no person of Islamic faith is available, and as a last resort, a pig, dog or "kafir" (Christian, Jew or non-believer) may touch the Koran, but only after donning clean gloves and using both hands at all times, without showing favoritism to the “really unclean” left hand. Before moving the Koran, the pig, dog or “kafir” is prohibited from manipulating any part of it with the left hand, because of Islamic association of the left hand … etc. Once the Koran is removed by the gloved, yet still unclean pig, dog or “kafir”, it then must be placed inside a clean, dry towel. This is according to Islamic law which lists ten “najis things”. Among them are urine, feces, other bodily excretions, the pig, the dog and the “kafir”. Considering the punishment for disrespecting the Koran, even accidentally, one wonders how many pigs, dogs or “kafirs” will be willing to pinch-hit when Mr. Ali doesn't show up for work.

The United States Army at Guantanamo has already surrendered to a voluntary, self-loathing by admitting that its soldiers are unclean. Will courthouses throughout the United States do the same? How many people will die whenever there is rumor that somewhere an unclean courthouse employee touched a Koran? How outrageous would it be to bring the Koran into the American court of law? It is a book that some Muslims interpret as giving them license to commit mayhem and murder upon unbelievers, such as the citizens of the United States. Would we not be giving our enemies (without even selling for a profit) the rope with which to hang us all?

No Korans = No Defamation
Linked at WizBang Blog's 'Carnival of the Trackbacks XXV' and basil's blog Brunch: 8/20/2005.